Close up of a toilet roll that has run out on a holder against pink background
As people stockpile amid the coronavirus panic, many are struggling to get hold of loo roll (Picture: Getty/Metro.co.uk)

Lots of people are freaking out about toilet paper right now. In the wake of coronavirus panic buying, there are fears some shops have run out or could start rationing loo roll.

I’m here to tell you toilet paper is not the hill you have to die on.

Most of the world does just fine without loo roll.

Don’t get me wrong, loo roll is most definitely one of life’s comforts.

But after countless family holidays in India, I know it’s possible to go without.

Toilet paper isn’t even a norm in many countries like it is in the west.

Alternatives to loo roll

There have been a butt load of jokes about using newspaper instead of toilet paper, but don’t do this! Newspaper isn’t designed to be flushed. Neither are wet wipes.

The cheapest and safest alternative is plain old water.

The sewage or plumbing system in many Asian countries isn’t designed to cope with paper, plus loo roll isn’t always affordable or accessible.

The number one reason many people skip the toilet paper in favour of water, however, is that most of the planet thinks it’s more hygienic to wash.

It may have come about because of climate and even religious belief. But, in the same way you wouldn’t flick your body with a dry towel instead showering, washing leaves you cleaner than wiping (it’s also gentler on your skin).

An illustration of a man in the bathroom
There’s actually no need for toilet paper (Picture: Ella Byworth for Metro.co.uk)

You don’t need a bidet

Bidets may be the more acceptable way to wash in the west but, again, they’re more about comfort than necessity.

It’s common to find a ‘lota’ or washing jug in the bathroom in some Asian homes and restaurants, even in the UK. These are like teapots, with a long spout to direct water where it needs to go.

Otherwise, you can use a clean bottle or something similar.

You might see an adapted shower head next to the toilet or bidet in some Asian bathrooms. It works like a mini garden hose, and makes clean-ups fast and hands-free. It’s not the same as a regular shower attachment, which can end up soaking the whole bathroom.

How to wash after using the loo

  1. Keep a towel to hand and fill your jug, lota or bottle with lukewarm water.
  2. During your first few attempts, whip off any clothing that could get wet, such as underpants and trousers. Scrunch everything else up out of the way.
  3. Once you’ve done your business, stay or sit on the loo. Think of your jug as a mini shower head to clean yourself just as you would when bathing.
  4. Lean forward, back or to the side, pouring the water as you go – you want a steady, gentle flow if you can.
  5. Aim water at your genitals and bum, and use your hand to wash until you feel clean. Just like showering, you’ll know when the job’s a good ‘un.
  6. Dry off, get dressed and wash your hands thoroughly with soap.

If you’re worried about touching poop, the combination of water and how our bodies work means this doesn’t happen.

You can add soap or soapy water if you want, but it’s not essential (you might want to rinse afterwards if you do).

You’ll probably make a mess the first few times but, with practice, you can do it discretely anywhere, even at work. In fact, lots of people do.

You don’t have to swear off toilet paper. But if shortages and stockpiling are adding to your stress, remember the rest of the world gets on just fine without it. We’re not facing wipe-out just yet.

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